Breakthrough Parenting Online

What are we striving to achieve when we say that we are raising children? When children can accept full responsibility for the consequences of their choices, they are "grown up. Responsibility means the ability to respond appropriately given the needs of a situation. Your children will be able to respond appropriately when they have developed these three essential character qualities: rational thinking, the capacity for loving, and sufficient confidence to act on their beliefs. These three qualities are included in our formula R=TLC. Built into this formula is also a way of understanding the best method for reaching the goal, which is tender loving care or TLC.

Thinking: In our formula R=TLC, the "T" stands for thinking. This is the ability to use one's mind to process information logically, to analyze situations and to form conclusions. Attentive parents routinely teach children how to think by involving them in problem-solving activities.

Loving: "L" in the R=TLC formula stands for loving. Loving describes a way of being with oneself and others. It means fully accepting someone for who they are as a person.  Loving means treating others with respect and compassion, and valuing and promoting what is in their best interest.  Children must first know that they are important and learn to care about themselves before they can accept that anyone else is also important. This can only happen when they are treated with respect.

Confidence: "C" stands for confidence in the R=TLC formula. Confidence means the courage to take action, to stand up for oneself and to make independent decisions. It means being self-reliant and trusting in one's own judgment. By showing approval when your children act constructively, you can create an atmosphere in which your children can build confidence.  Our formula R=TLC is a universal formula for attaining the highest goal of a human being, to live a self-actualized life. What this means is to develop one's gifts to their highest potential and to make a positive contribution to society. The ability to live a self-actualized life begins in the family.

The Goal: R = TLC Responsibility = Thinking Loving Confidence

The Method: TLC = Tender Loving Care